I'm Sorry

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry, so sorry,
that I ever spotted you in the room.
My fifteen-year-old heart couldn't handle the electric shock
of seeing a beauty too bright to behold.
You were glowing with the life I longed to be a part of,
your aura running amok and mixing with mine.
Filled with mystery, it was love at first sight,
overflowing with emotions, that I couldn't fight.

I'm sorry, so sorry,
that I ever took you by surprise,
that I ever frightened you, annoyed you,
that I ever tried to make you happy, anonymously.
I'd take it all back, if you'd let me.
I'd take it all back, with every fiber of my being.
I'd take it all back, in the skip of a heartbeat...
the way mine skips swiftly at the sight of you.

I'm sorry, so sorry,
that I remember every word you've ever said,
every key you've ever played,
all the times I've ever made you laugh (just twice),
all the times we've ever embraced (you silently hated them all),
but how could I ever forget these little things,
that have made you all the more special to me?

I'm sorry, so sorry,
that you're etched in my memory...
a work of art I can't erase,
a broken record I can't escape.
Your expressions, your mannerisms,
spliced together like an old home movie,
playing over and over again in my dreams.
Your eyes...they haunt me like ghosts.
Oh, if I can't have them for my own to stare into,
like my own personal ocean,
I beg you to take them away.

I'm sorry, so sorry,
that we have so much in common,
that I'm everywhere you are,
that it's all a coincidence,
that I can't become invisible,
that I even exist at all.

I'm sorry, so sorry,
that I'm so insignificant,
that I'd never be good enough,
that I could never fit into your world...
the dark space you've created,
with a clique so tight,
that even my glances at your precious face
are somehow forbidden.
Lost in a lonely purgatory,
I'm suffering from an inevitable age gap,
and you've always been taboo.
Curiousity has killed this cat,
and my nine lives are up.

I'm sorry, so sorry,
when I make you nervous,
when I make you sweat.
You felt hot beneath my hands
that last time we were forced to touch...
and I knew it was because of me.
It hurt me to realize that being close to me,
was a painful task for you.
You'd make a terrible Romeo.

I'm sorry, so sorry,
that I yearn for you this way,
that I care for you this way,
that my heart cries for you this way,
that I'm the only one that would die for you,
if in return, you'd receive eternal happiness.

I'm sorry...so very sorry.



(Originally posted on June 25, 2008, @ darkalchemystudios.deviantart.com)

© Caitlin Blair Cogar