If I Could Tell You

"If I Could Tell You" [A Love Letter]

When I look at you, I see beauty. A pulchritude more deep and genuine than anyone I've ever encountered. Your presence is stronger than any gravitational force or natural disaster, and when I'm near you, I'm almost in pain because I care for you too much. Your aura and every essence of you is fascinating, and I rack my brain trying to analyze what you might be thinking at certain, if not all, moments in time. The way you walk, the way you move, captivates me completely. You act with a specific introverted grace that I absolutely adore, and when I'm in the same room with you, I can't help but study it.

Your eyes are a wonderland all their own. Sometimes it's hard for me to look at you, knowing that I have to glance into their deep blue hue...and once I do, your eyes become so heavenly, that I cannot look away. I cannot bear to look away. I miss those eyes every second that I can't see them, or feel them looking back at me. Your voice is stunning to me whenever I hear it, even from the farthest distance. It's vibrations flow through me like electric currents...it's so warm. I never knew a voice could be warm, until I heard yours. And if you think I'm head over heels when I listen to you speak, that's nothing compared to the way my heart instantly disintegrates when I hear you laugh. When you laugh, I want to cry, because I know you'll never laugh that way with me.

You're beyond intelligent and driven, qualities that I very much admire. Even if it was playfully cruel, I'd give anything for you to throw your wit at me just once. It blows me away. Deep beneath the hard surface you expose to the world, I know there is an ever-glowing, loving side of you, waiting to guide someone with its light. How I long for that someone to be me. Will you ever give me a chance to unlock what's in your heart?

I dream of you on most days, if not most hours...but can you blame me? There is no one like you. No existing soul can make me feel the way I feel when I'm around you. How am I supposed to let you slip away without ever letting you know how I feel? I'll never find another you. I don't want to search for another you...just a copy, a cheap imitation of a dream. I want the real deal, and it's killing me that I can't have you. I'm growing more dead inside every time I realize that I'll never be with you. I wish you could be me for just one day. One day, so you can understand the kind of lethal, euphoric power you hold over my heart. Your spell isn't an easy one to break.

I love you. Have mercy.



(Originally posted on August 1, 2007, @ darkalchemystudios.deviantart.com)


© Caitlin Blair Cogar